Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Terrible idea I love it
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
