"it" just moved
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
