dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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