When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
