Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
