The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
