"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
