I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
