I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I can't put those talents on a resume
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
