We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
