I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
