Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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