____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
