Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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