Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
