question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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