So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
