Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
