I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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