i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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