i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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