Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
