I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
