Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize