weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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