im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
