I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Less talking, more tequila
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize