Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
