yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
