talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize