I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
