i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
