when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
