it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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