I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
