dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
