Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
