I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
