I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
