let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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