im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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