There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
