haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
