somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
