around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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