He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
do herpes really smell.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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