Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
