I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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