would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
