I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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