All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
