I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
