i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
