Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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