I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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