one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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