Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
