im drinking this country out of the recession.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize