first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
