You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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