Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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