Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
