"it" just moved
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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