it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
