So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
