she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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