Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
